Monday, August 9, 2010

Time.

Nine Months.
So much has changed.

Nine months ago, I made a choice.
Enough was enough.
I needed a change.
I wanted my life back.
I needed to breathe again.
He needed the same thing.
We separated.
& There was not a single day that I found myself regretting that choice.

Eight months ago, another decision had to be made.
I found out I was carrying another child.
Under the worst situation, I had to consider abortion.
It's hard to admit but I don't have anything against it.
Situations are situations and one can only decide what's best for themselves.
Thing was, I couldn't.
I did not have the heart or strength to go through it.
I knew, however, that no matter what happens, I have people I can count on to help me raise another child like my first. I didn't have to go through it alone.
As hard as it was, I knew this was another decision I wouldn't regret.

1 month.
1 month to go, yet more decisions to make.
Things have only started getting better, or more like, I am.
I dont know if I'm ready to go back to what I've left.
I don't know if I'm ready to have him back in my life.
For years, it was always about taking chances with him.
I don't know if I can take another shot at this.

Although still "legally" married, it has been tooo long.

Time.

8 comments:

RicAdeMus said...

Absolutely, women have to make their own choice. The people on both sides who would try to tell her what to do, they won't be there later to help her with the reality of her decision.

It's great that you have wonderful family/friends who will be there with you. From what you've shared on your blog, it's easy to see you know that children are a blessing. Hearing "mommy, mommy, mommy" 12,000 times a day is sometimes hard, but the kids give us at least that many reasons to smile.

I hope your next round of decisions work out the way you want them to.

RicAdeMus said...
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RicAdeMus said...

PS - Sorry, my computer froze and then BAM, one comment became four!

Mimi said...

aww aby. *hugs*
think about it carefully ha? kasi if you will go for it agad and then ganon ulit... mahihirapan ka ulit magadjust. how about like let him come back but then u wont really expect much? like make him show you that this time is real. that this time may maasahan ka na ulit... things like that?

kaya mo yan! ikaw pa! :) and yes, we'll be here... during my free time id like to visit and play with babyyy :D

ingat ka lagi! hope to see you soon! ;)

RicAdeMus said...

You did a nice job on the engagement photo for Kym's brother.

sssdawna said...

whatever choices you make are only new beginnings = ] corny? true!